The Meaning of Words
by Baliansword
Summary: Hephaestion leaves something unsaid, and in such, begins to act strangely around Alexander. However, can they overcome the words that Hephaestion will not say?
1. The Words

Title: "The Meaning of Words"

Author: Baliansword

Rating: T for Teen

Pairings: Alexander/Hephaestion

Type: One Shot

Summary: Hephaestion begins to act strangely around Alexander. It's not what they say, but rather something Hephaestion has left unsaid.

Warnings: Sexual Content…oooh….ahhhh

A/N: Another project. It may warp into a few chapters, I am not sure.

H/N: None given.

Dedication: To everyone that read my last work.

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He sat solemnly next to the old oak; its branches hanging over the rippling lake. He had pulled his knees up to his chin in contemplation. Things were different now, very different, and he did not know what to make of it. Hence, he sat and waited for an answer, which undoubtedly would not come from these shores. No, there would be no answer here, but it was better to sit instead of worry. Time passed, as she always does when one stops and thinks. In this time, a young man sat down next to Alexander. He was sixteen, still older than Alexander's fifteen, but he was a man none the less even now.

"I came to think," the prince's voice offered, cutting through thick silence. He did not feel like turning to Hephaestion though. He already knew that a great beauty would be sitting at his side, for Hephaestion was in truth the only beautiful thing in Mieza, or the world for the matter.

They were the opposite from one another in almost all ways physical. Hephaestion had chocolate colored hair, longer than many boys' hair, which he took great care of. Alexander on the other hand had hair that rivaled the light of the sun. His eyes were dark, yet Hephaestion's were cerulean and his best trait. They both were strong but Hephaestion was a refined figure, with high cheekbones, and softness seemed to ease over him. Alexander on the other hand desired more in life than philosophy, and a true warrior's pride often blurred his aura. Their moods balanced one another, as if they could only form one man together. Yet, this seemed as of late to be a subtle understanding neither knew how to cope with. If, however, they knew of the sheer importance of the bond they had, perhaps they'd believed it was merely a dream; a reality they could never reach.

"How long have you been here?"

It was hard not to speak with Hephaestion. He asked with a grace unrequited by others. Truly he cared and wished to know Alexander's answer. The young prince had always admired such of his friend. Hephaestion cared, truly, and he did not want to lose it.

"Not long," Alexander replied finally. "I was thinking over things."

"You have been thinking more and more lately. It seems a new hobby."

"Perhaps. Yet just because I sit and think does not mean that I know more."

"Tell me," Hephaestion said as he glanced at Alexander. Alexander always told him his thoughts; however, he was doing this less and less as well. He waited for a moment and then drew in a breath. It appeared that Alexander was not in the mood for discussion. "I wonder, sometimes, what it is you fear in words."

"Sometimes, I believe they are stronger than swords, or an army for that matter. Why? What are you asking?"

"Observing," corrected Hephaestion. "I am just observing."

"You're not a philosopher. Observations mean nothing to you."

"Well," he replied after a moment. There were implications in Alexander's statement. Perhaps he really did wish to be alone if he did not find comfort in him then perhaps he should leave. Yes, words were more dangerous than swords. However, at times, they were kinder and the most for giving of things. "I should leave you to your thoughts."

"No," Alexander said after a sigh. He grabbed Hephaestion's wrist to keep him from leaving. He glanced at him, then back to the lake. Only then did he speak again. "I did not mean you had to leave. I enjoy your company. I just…I don't understand you sometimes."

"What do you mean?"

"Today," he said, using as an example an event that had recently taken place. "I only wanted for Cassander to understand that we are not boys anymore. We are men now. You shouldn't let him question your honor. Fight him if you must, but, I don't understand. Why do you hate me so much?"

"What?"

"You used to be…different. You barely even wish to be seen with me now. It is as if I am some sort of an embarrassment to you. Tell me, why do you hate me now? What did I do? Was my protection of you wrong?"

"Alexander," Hephaestion began, his voice soft and almost faint. "You have no idea how much I enjoy your company. Your protection is not for me though. As prince, you need not concern yourself with me, nor my troubles with Cassander. He can hate me for all eternity and it will not matter. The only thing that I need is to like myself I suppose, as Aristotle has said. Really, Alexander, you do not need to protect me."

"It is deeper than that isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"There is no need to lie; we have known one another too long. Tell me, what it is that you leave unsaid. You are not the only one that can observe things," he added. "You know me better than I do, but I know you as well. Tell me Hephaestion, why do you refuse to look at me as you once did? Why won't you touch me, and if I touch you, you move away as if is never happened? What has changed about me?"

"Alexander, it is not you, believe me."

"What are you hiding from me?"

"It is just…things are different now Alexander. You are…you have been born to privilege…and with that comes a certain amount of…duty. With duty there are certain things that you can do, and there are certain thins that are…unacceptable."

"But, what have I done to offend you, or any other for the matter?"

"Nothing Alexander, but…I have. I have done,…I have had thoughts that I should not have had. I've desired…things that I can never obtain, for, it is unacceptable."

"Tell me, what have you done that would keep you from me. What is it Hephaestion? I feel this void that is close to unbearable."

"I…it does not matter Alexander. It is not you though, I assure you."

"No, I must know. Look at me once more Hephaestion, please. It is as if we barely know one another."

"Oh, Alexander."

Alexander placed his hand over Hephaestion's. He then moved closer. Hephaestion finally was looking at him again. However, he seemed almost frightened; as if the closer that Alexander got the less he was in control. Hephaestion had always liked to be in control. Alexander soon wondered if this was what scared him so. Did he really wish to be in control, and he was denying him such? No, that could not be it.

"Tell me," Alexander begged as he leaned a bit closer. He could not help himself from reaching out once more. He wrapped his leg around Hephaestion's and placed his palm on his cheek. "What is it, my Patroclaus?"

"Alexander, you know not what you do."

"I am seducing you, am I not? It is, I admit, a terrible attempt. However, it is working? Or, do you wish to deny me this."

"It is unacceptable."

"Why," asked Alexander, who kissed him lightly upon the cheek. Instantly he felt his body warm. He needed this. He wanted Hephaestion, all of him, more than he ever had wanted anything. He knew never again could he want something, or someone, as much as he wanted Hephaestion now. Why, why could Hephaestion not see this? What was this secret that was keeping them apart?

"Ale," Hephaestion murmured, almost breathless. "You are a prince. I…it cannot be. It is…you'll need to take a wife, as your mother suggests, soon enough. This…what you or I want no longer matters. We cannot…"

"Say you do not love me," Alexander interjected. "If it is so, tell me that you do not love me."

"Alexander…"

"Say it. Tell me you don't love me."

"It isn't a question of…"

"I-do-not-love-you," Alexander dictated clearly for him. "Say it!"

"No," Hephaestion quickly said. He was angry now that Alexander could not see what was right, and what would be completely wrong and unacceptable for him as a prince. They could not be. This could never have been and they should have known all along. Alexander was a prince and he, he was nothing at all. He was here for Philip's pity, for he had been close with his father. No one would agree with what they both wanted. "I will not say it!"

"Why?"

"Because I swore never to lie to you," he admitted before he could stop himself. Upon realizing he had just said this he froze. Alexander, on the other hand, was not taken aback in the slightest. Hephaestion knew that he needed to say something. The silence was going to kill him.

"I," he began yet had to draw in a breath.

"Say it," Alexander told him. He still was just as close; his fingers were now tracing Hephaestion's body. It was no longer seduction. It was torture. "I already believe I know, Hephaestion. I only need you to say it. It doesn't matter. I don't care what others say. I want to know."

"I…I love you Alexander."

Alexander needed nothing more. He immediately pulled Hephaestion to him. He drew Hephaestion's body against his and pressed his lips passionately to the only one he had ever wanted to kiss in such a way. Hephaestion tried to hold himself back for a moment, but soon enough he too was a creature fallen to the submissions of his passions. He kissed back, softly at first until he too was trying to claim the other as if this were a battle of sorts. Yet, he then stopped, pulling away and in doing so crushing what Alexander had hoped this would become. Hope was too fragile.

"No," Hephaestion finally said. "I cannot do this. It is not fair to you, my lord."

"Phae, do not call me that. You know that I am no lord to you. By the gods, stop believing I am your king. What happened to the days when I was Alexander? I want them back Hephaestion. I want you to forget what duty is. I want only for you to love me so that we may be together. Can you not see this Hephaestion?"

"Alexander," a voice called out. Hephaestion did not look, but instead stood. More than ever Alexander needed him. He needed to understand him. Hephaestion was not going to give him more explanations now. As Hephaestion disappeared he was replaced by Cassander, who was still angry over the earlier flight he'd had with Hephaestion. Alexander sat back and watched his dream slip away.

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Hephaestion had made sure to avoid him during dinner. He sat next to him, as he always did, but still kept away from him. He made sure not to reach over him. He then made sure not to stare at him as he wanted to. He even made sure that their legs did not touch underneath the table. If there was anything he could do to keep himself away from Alexander, he was doing it. Now, however, he was sitting alone in his room. Silently, he stared up at his ceiling, trying to think of absolutely nothing.

"Why do you fear their glances," Alexander said sometime later, pulling Hephaestion from his thoughts. He had managed to come into the room without being heard. Only now did Hephaestion look over at him. He pushed himself up and then shook his head slowly.

"I do not fear them for myself Alexander. I fear them for you."

"I am a prince, if you must look at it that way. They are all beneath me. I do not care what they say."

"Your father is still king. Give him a reason and he will prove your mother true. He will not leave you the throne, but will give it to another of his bastards if he has to. Alexander, please; do not make this harder on us both."

"What would you want, if you could have anything in the world?"

"Alexander, I cannot have anything in the world."

"I would have you," Alexander said, tears burning his eyes. He then came further into the room, which was not large at all compared to his own. He stopped just before the end of the bed. Hephaestion had lain back down and was staring at the roof once more as if he were dead. "I would have you Hephaestion! I would have you, and it would be all I ever asked for."

"I know," answered Hephaestion despondently. He spoke his next words slowly, and sadly, as if he were in a trance. "It can never be though, what we want. You someday shall be king, and you will have a Queen. I cannot be in the way of such, Alexander."

"But I only want you!"

"You will need an heir."

"Damn some wife I do not even have yet Hephaestion! I want you!"

"Yes," he replied. There were now tears flowing down his cheeks as well. Alexander on the other hand was angry and frustrated now, and tears had ceased to flow from his eyes. "But I cannot be something that comes and goes. I'm jealous, Alexander, you know this. If you someday have a wife…I will hate her, and you will crush my heart in having her. Just…let it end now before it begins."

"What do I have to do to show you that there is only room for you in my heart? Hephaestion, you are all that I have ever wanted. You are all that I have, all that keeps me here in this world. Tell me, what must I do?"

"I can't take your life from you Alexander. I don't want to be the reason that your father does not give you a throne, or the reason that later in life you are old, heirless, and disappointed with me."

"You don't want me disappointed?"

"No, I do not wish you to be disappointed."

"Then tell me that you love me again," he whispered as he crawled onto the bed. He even crawled upon Hephaestion and stared down at the godly body beneath him. "Don't stop Hephaestion; don't stop unless it is because you want to. Tell me, what do you want?"

"You," Hephaestion whispered back as Alexander placed his lips against his. Hephaestion felt himself melt into the bed as Alexander kissed him. He sunk lower and lower until Alexander was the only thing holding him to the earth. Otherwise, he would be floating to the heavens to that Aphrodite for this. As Alexander kissed him, his hands roamed over Hephaestion's arms, and then confidently moved to his chest. Neither of them knew anything about this, about what physical lovemaking truly was, but it did not matter. It felt so right.

Alexander pushed himself up on an arm and pulled Hephaestion's chiton away from him. Hephaestion desperately pulled at Alexander's clothing as well, and after a few moments of frantically tearing clothes away from one another, they both were wearing nothing at all. Skin touched skin, sending shivers up their spines, but at the same time it caused a fire to ignite in their loins. Hephaestion let out a soft moan, which he had been holding in the back of his throat. As he did, Alexander placed his lips over his once more, and they savagely kissed one another.

When it came down to it, Hephaestion shifted so that he was behind Alexander. Drawing in a slightly worried breath, for he could not mess the moment up, he placed his hands at Alexander's waist. He then pushed himself into a crevice, and Alexander let out a deep breath and began to breathe heavily from pain and pleasure. Hephaestion worried at first, asking if he had hurt him. Alexander told him that he had not, that he could never hurt him. Moments later, enfolded in one another's arms, they slept.

"I love you," Hephaestion whispered in his sleep. Words truly did mean more than anything else. Alexander, upon hearing these words, smiled in his sleep. Then, he drifted away, and dreamed of Hephaestion and this night all over again.

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A/N: I have not decided if I am going to continue with this. Go ahead and review, and I will see what I get. If there is a desire to read more of this …I'll write more of it. Let me know!


	2. Olympias' Warning

Title: "The Meaning of Words"

Author: Baliansword

Rating: T for Teen

Pairings: Alexander/Hephaestion

Type: …slowly becoming chapters….

Chapter: 2 of ?..."Olympias' Warning"

Summary: Hephaestion begins to act strangely around Alexander. It's not what they say, but rather something Hephaestion has left unsaid.

Warnings: Sexual Content. Yes, I know, just be shocked and either read or don't read. By now…you should have stopped reading if you didn't want the sex.

A/N: Thank you to Arlad, Queendel, Yolass Sunny-seid-up, Anberzen, HavenRain, Snowlover, and A Horse Called Hwin for the review of the last chapter. Since there is interest in this story, here goes another chapter. Can't wait to see what you think of this.

H/N: For this chapter, Alexander has returned to Pella to visit his mother; there is also a celebration in store for an unnamed deity.

Dedication: To those that read. You are all great.

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Light shone over the tiles of the floor; golden glints sparkled up into the rafters of the room, but upon this journey bounced off of goblets and all other magnificent things it could touch. Elegance surrounded all that would enter this room. It came from not only the aura, but also from the grand furniture and the ornate woven pictorials that lined the walls. However, fear seemed to pour from those that entered this room as well. There was always a moment where the individual that opened the door paused, as their hand touched either wood or a cold gold handle, and some would turn around. Yet there were also those that dared to enter. Those that did generally were the bravest of men. It was this, or they were the largest fools. But neither of these was the case as a young hand touched the door, pushed it open, and gave not a single glance to the guards as he entered the room. He was afraid of nothing it seemed, when even the guards knew that not many would enter such a room. Alexander was not a man though. He was just a boy it seemed to them, but in truth, he was merely a son in this instance.

He entered the room and glanced at the snake that slid across the floor as if it were air over water. Alexander bent, and he picked up the creature. Its scales were cool, but soft to the touch. It had dark fiery orange scales, and its beady eyes were a coal black. It flicked its pink tongue out of its mouth, tasting the air, and then seemed to warm to Alexander's touch. The snake knew this boy, had known him since he was a child really, and knew that he did not fear him. It made no sense to harm a boy that was not afraid. However, should this boy squeeze too hard, the serpent would have no trouble turning on him. Alexander was careful with him though and ran a hand down its back as he stepped further into the room.

"Be careful," a voice said as he stepped out onto the balcony. "He will strike, and his bite will kill you should you move wrong just once."

"I know," he assured his mother. She was staring intently out at something going on across the courtyard. There were two men standing next to one another, rather plain in appearance, speaking. Alexander glanced, noted that they seemed as if they could perhaps be faces he knew. Yes, he decided. One of the men was Pausanias, and the other he did not know, but figured nothing of it. His mother was always looking for trouble in the smallest situations.

"Let me look at you," Olympias said as the two men separated. She turned to him, a smile not only on her face, but in her eyes as well. She reached over then and wrapped her arms around him in an embrace. Upon pulling away, she looked him over once more. "They are not feeding you well there, my son."

"They feed us fine," he assured her as they entered her rooms. Alexander knelt down and let the snake go. It slithered under the wardrobe, but did nothing more. Alexander sat down without further explanation on the grand couch before the small table. He reached out and picked up a cup, which was filled with warm wine, and drank it. Olympias either did not notice, or she did not mind this, for she simply sat across from him on a chair. It had been carved from the finest wood; large paws were placed on the floor and upon the arch of the chair's top was carved a lion. She seemed caught up in something else, but would not speak of it. Instead, she pushed whatever thoughts she had out of her mind, and she glanced at her son.

"Are you learning?"

"Yes," he answered. "Aristotle is a wonderful philosopher, truly. He knows things that common men do not know. I still cannot understand why it is that you do not like him more."

"He teaches you from an Athenian view, and I do not like it. Sitting down and thinking never solves a problem. Yes, it helps, but when you are on a battlefield no man will stop to have a talk with you. Can you understand such?"

"Athenian view suggests that leaders speaking to one another would bring fewer wars upon the world. At least with civilized men, of course. I suppose that the barbarian Persians and their neighbors to the east would not know this. Perhaps you are correct in that. Aristotle teaches philosophy mother. He is not trying to undermine you, I assure you."

"Listening to me," she told him as she drank from her cup again, "would be wiser than listening to him. You need a tutor, one that will be frank, not Aristotle. He may in fact be a great mind, yes, but not for you. You spend your time with your friends. It is wrong. You are above them. Never would I want them to think they are equal to you."

"And if they thought such?"

"They would have to be executed," was her answer. Her words were so blatantly said that Alexander gulped. Suddenly he wanted to change the subject. He did not feel comfortable speaking about this before his mother.

"Not all Athenians are beneath us," he replied, hoping this would be good enough for her. It was not though. She took another sip from her cup but then went on. It was not that she did not like Athenians. Instead, she disliked the world that would not give her power. She hated even her husband now, who had barred her up in her rooms so that she could converse with no others. He had placed guards outside the doors that recorded each entry and exit. It was ridiculous, for him to think that she could be silenced, of course.

"You, Alexander, are to be the greatest of them all. Your name will shine forever, while the names of your friends are lost."

"Must you always demean everyone else in the world?"

"Yes," she hissed back. Her eyes glimmered as if this conversation had lit her soul. There was something terrible about this; however, Alexander at the same time was at least glad to know that she was listening. Her opinions may be wrong, but, she listened to him in a way that his father never had. "I know that some of them are nice boys, but, they are not like you Alexander. No temples burned the day of their birth."

"Do you know that for sure?"

"Alexander," she said in a stern tone. "You know that you are better. Someday, you would be wise to admit this. Do not let them think you are equal. If you do, one day they shall walk all over you. Already I hear how you favor Hephaestion."

"He is my best friend," Alexander corrected. He did not want to get into this subject. His mother did not dislike Hephaestion, this much he knew, but he knew that she would like him less if she knew how close they had become.

"Even the best of friends will turn against you my son. They will all turn against you. Hephaestion is no different from any other man," she warned. "He will want what they all do. Gold and glory is better than friendship; all know this. Even Athenians know this Alexander."

"He loves me," he blurted out before he could stop himself. As soon as the words had left his lips he wanted them back. Instantly his mother stared at him as if she were a snake, and he was some sort of mouse; prey that she knew her venom would easily kill.

"He loves you?"

"Yes," Alexander said with a nod. "He loves me, and I love him."

"Ha," she spat out. "He does not love you. He loves the idea of you. Of course he would tell you such! You are a prince Alexander, and to be on the side of a prince is better than being on the outside. He does not love you."

"He does. He loves me for who I am, yes, but not for what."

"Well," she sighed. "I suppose this is my fault for convincing you that love was out there. Whatever you have now, if you have anything, is nothing. It is not love. It is lust at the most."

"No," Alexander disagreed strongly. "It is love."

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A/N: Again, I have no idea if I should keep going. However, if everyone thinks this is worth reading as of yet…let me know and I'll come up with a grand plot. Thanks for the reviews!


	3. Price of Love

Title: "The Meaning of Words"

Author: Baliansword

Rating: T for Teen

Pairings: Alexander/Hephaestion

Type: …slowly becoming chapters….

Chapter: 3 of ?..."The Cost of Love"

Summary: Hephaestion begins to act strangely around Alexander. It's not what they say, but rather something Hephaestion has left unsaid.

Warnings: Sexual Content. Yes, I know, just be shocked and either read or don't read. By now…you should have stopped reading if you didn't want the sex.

** There is some stronger language in part of this chapter **

A/N: Thank you to Arlad, Queendel, Yolass Sunny-seid-up, Anberzen, HavenRain, Snowlover, and A Horse Called Hwin for the review of the last chapter. Since there is interest in this story, here goes another chapter. Can't wait to see what you think of this.

H/N: For this chapter, Alexander has returned to Pella to visit his mother; there is also a celebration in store for an unnamed deity.

Dedication: To those that read. You are all great.

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The wind lifted up the smallest flecks of dirt and whisked them up into the air. Blowing softly, it then carried the dust past plants and trees, over rivers, and through the valleys, and even to the tips of mountain peaks. On this day, the wind lifted the dirt and swirled it around the ankles of the boys that stood out by the wrestling arena. None of them seemed to take heed of this. None of them seemed to notice any of the nature that was about them. The sun shone down over Pella brightly, its rays reflecting off various shades of green, brown, and even exotic colors of red and purple. Anything and everything that the golden beams hit were made ten times more beautiful. Apart from the wind there were only a few white and fluffy clouds in the sky. Birds chirped and leapt from branch to branch in the olive trees and for sure there were smaller animals in the forests meandering about. Even a few rabbits made themselves noticed near the gardens, where servants and so forth were forced to shoo them away.

As they stood there, waiting, they all thought of something else. Cassander continued to glare at Hephaestion, his eyes slits, as if this somehow would help him in the ranks. He glared, but Hephaestion did not seem to mind. He merely glanced over and then looked away. Nothing was new about the altercations between the two. Today would be no different, for it was because of Cassander that they were standing at the arena. They needed only to wait for Alexander before they could begin the tournament. In honesty it would be no tournament though. Cassander wanted to fight with Hephaestion, or anyone for the matter, and had called it a tournament to get Alexander to agree to it. Little did the prince know, the rest of them had no intentions of letting anyone fight before the main event.

"Perhaps you should not pick a fight with him," Ptolemy said allowed, not minding that the others surrounded them. He was speaking to Cassander; however, such words fell into the ears of all. Even Hephaestion glanced over at him. Cassander did not mind all eyes upon him though. In fact, he rather much preferred it this way.

"Why," asked Cassander boldly. "Do you think that because he is Alexander's favorite I should bow down to him? Is he suddenly worth more than the rest of us?"

"No one said that he was worth more than you Cassander," interjected Nearchus. He rolled his eyes, tired of Cassander turning everything into some sort of personal attack. They in no way were attacking him. Poor Hephaestion did not mean anything by his position. Nearchus had a best friend, but that did not mean that he lessened the worth of any other.

"He says it when he accepts such a position," Cassander said as he approached Hephaestion. He paused before him and stared at him. There was nothing special about him, other than his looks. Yet Cassander knew that features changed as a man went into battle and got older. Soon, Hephaestion would begin to wear, and after all of the battles they would no doubt be in he would look like death. He'd look just as bad as his father had upon his funeral. Then, he would not be Alexander's favorite at all, for nothing matched Alexander in Hephaestion. Hephaestion did not share the same views as Alexander, and he surely would not continue to support him if he did not agree with him. What was it that his prince saw in this imposter that he could not see in a true Macedonian?

"Tell me," quipped Cassander quietly so that only Hephaestion could hear him, "what is it like to fuck to a prince?"

"I wouldn't know," Hephaestion shot back. He was not angry though, for he knew Cassander. Antipater pushed him to be more than he ever needed to be. He was a child, being pushed to a limit that seemed boundless, when instead he should be enjoying his youth. His own father had pushed him, he recalled, but never to such an extent. Cassander had to win, had to be better, or he was nothing at all in his father's eyes.

"Of course you wouldn't, not before us, right? But when you are alone with him, what is it that you do? Does he use you like an animal? Come, Hephaestion, do tell me. I will say nothing to the others. Just tell me what it is like to be the slave of another. How weak are you, that you could not tell him no? Or do you like it when he belittles you, bending you over, riding you like that damn horse?"

"If only you could see past your hate," replied Hephaestion calmly. He then did what he knew would annoy Cassander the most. He let a slight smile creep over his lips, upturning them so that he seemed as if this all was a joke. "There is so much in the world Cassander. You should open your eyes before you open your mouth. I thought you said your father was wise, and taught you well. If you don't know that much, he didn't teach you anything."

"Bastard," Cassander screamed as he pushed Hephaestion. Hephaestion was not expecting such a reaction and was pushed off balance. He took a few steps back before Cassander leapt at him again. Soon, Cassander had forced him to the ground and was clawing at him, as well as punching him. Hephaestion blocked his face with a hand, and then brought his knee up. His knee collided with Cassander's gut, and Cassander let out a cry. He then slid off of Hephaestion and held his stomach. Hephaestion quickly pushed himself up, and began to walk back to the others. He was not one for pointless confrontation.

"Every time," muttered Ptolemy as Hephaestion took his place beside him. "We tried to tell him you would win once more."

"It is not about winning."

"Well. If it isn't, then the rest of us have been playing the wrong game."

"Sometimes I wonder why he hates me as much as he does," Hephaestion began, yet he glanced over his shoulder and saw his prince creeping over the hill. He was walking calmly, even for one that had just left Olympias' chambers. Hephaestion managed to pull his eyes away though. He did not need any more suspicion. Yet, as he glanced away from Alexander, Ptolemy smirked slightly. Hephaestion tried to convince himself that this had not happened. There was no way that Ptolemy could know his deepest secret, at least, he hoped that he did not.

"You look as if you've been through battle already," Alexander said as he approached. He did not look at Hephaestion. He did not even glance in his direction. For this, Hephaestion was glad, for he did not want to feel the pain in his chest again. It was as if Alexander was so close, yet always so far away. Perhaps he would never be able to reach him now. Yet, he wanted to have him more than anything.

"Cassander let his tongue run away with him once more," young Philotas said under his breath to Alexander. Alexander nodded, knowing immediately what Philotas was speaking of. Cassander loved picking fights with Hephaestion. It was becoming a daily ritual, in fact. "But what about the feast, did you tell your mother that I wanted roasted pheasant?"

"Of course I did."

"And?"

"She said if you catch it, pluck it, and cook it yourself she can almost guarantee that it will be there."

"She's unfathomable!"

"Well," Alexander said with a shrug. "She is better than my father, who has decided that we can all go without food for the night. He said it would strengthen us if we went without food for a few days."

"But we know that it only makes a man weak," Hephaestion said. He had picked up a long stick he'd found and was staring intently at it. Cassander still refused to look in his direction, but wanted to.

"Athens makes men weak," Cassander shouted, then left. Suddenly all eyes were on him again. Hephaestion nodded once before dropping the stick he'd found. He then turned and sauntered off in the opposite direction.

"They should get married," Nearchus suggested. "They fight like our parents already."

"Yes," Alexander agreed. "They do, which we should worry about."

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A/N: Sorry for the long delay. I had a million things to do. But I should begin writing frequently again. Also, sorry that this chapter is so short.


	4. Price of Love Part 2

Title: "The Meaning of Words"

Author: Baliansword

Rating: T for Teen

Pairings: Alexander/Hephaestion

Type: …slowly becoming chapters….

Chapter: 4 of ?..."The Cost of Love, Pt. 2"

Summary: Hephaestion begins to act strangely around Alexander. It's not what they say, but rather something Hephaestion has left unsaid.

Warnings: Sexual Content. Yes, I know, just be shocked and either read or don't read. By now…you should have stopped reading if you didn't want the sex.

A/N: thank you to all of those that read and review. Again, I am sorry for these delays in posting!

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"Cassander," a voice called out. Immediately, no matter how furious he was, he found himself stopping. Only Alexander's voice could grip him so, even if it were rare. Alexander was quick and already had caught up to him. Seething, Cassander begrudgingly glared at the young prince. The fool had everything in the world to look forward to, but like a fool, he failed to note this. Instead he found his comfort in Hephaestion –a boy- and an individual of no rant or social status. It was not only absurd, it was completely unjust. He'd surrendered all of his friends, Macedonians by birth, blood, and upbringing, for one whelp of an Athenian.

"Why," Alexander asked plaintively, yet said nothing more. He seemed angry. His cheeks had reddened and his posture was rigid. All could have easily detected that Alexander was just as furious as Cassander. He had the temperament of his father and a bit of this mother's madness. It mixed for a terrible, yet interesting, combination. On the other side of the prince stood Cassander, however, who was calm in appearance. He was angry, true, but one glancing at him would not be able tot ell this. He stood straight and he almost smiled as he glared at Alexander, but even his glare was a mere typicality of his character.

"What," replied Cassander. He knew well enough what Alexander was referring to. Still, even now, he stuck of for Hephaestion. What fools they had been to believe that Alexander was _their_ prince. Alexander was _his_ prince; he was Hephaestion's prince and his alone.

"You know," Alexander fired back quickly. He did not miss a beat and for the first time seemed ready to confront Cassander. "There must be something wrong with him. You treat him as if he is less than human. Obviously I have missed something. What makes this so Cassander?"

"Well, you know what they say about the tricks of Eros. He put a beast in the body of a boy. Hephaestion is weak, but a beast. You way to his power and bend to his will!"

"No," Alexander disagreed adamantly. "Eros does not play such games. He certainly would not with Hephaestion."

"Why, because he is yours? Who do you think you are Alexander? Let me tell you what, and who, you are. You are Alexander, a boy, not some invincible son of a god! Your mother can tell you what she wants, but everyone else knows what you are and have always been. She knows, and the rest of Macedonia has known as well. You may be a prince, but you do not serve Macedonia. You serve Hephaestion and his lustful loins, perhaps, but not those whom you should!"

"Whatever poison your father has poured into your ear truly eludes you. I serve you just as much as I do any other. Cassander, your tongue is quick to accuse, but you never attempt to fix anything. Whatever grievances you have with me you need to bring to me. Hephaestion cannot cure your anger, not an anger that you hold against me. I ask for your attacks, your wrath, and will understand, defend, and accept them. I may as well even fight you back if it would suit you."

"Bedding _him_ makes him as much a part of this as any other. Can you not see what is before you Alexander?"

"I see your attacks, but never any argument worth trying to debate. You whine that he is Athenian, well too bad. He cannot help him home any more than you or I can. Hephaestion is loyal to us, not just to me. He is loyal to Macedon, and to you! Your father is the one that you hate Cassander for he is the one that has taught you to be like this."

"I would rather be like my father than like you! You are a blind fool Alexander. To you perhaps Hephaestion is loyal, but not to others, not to your Companions. He is bad for you Alexander. He blinds you from your responsibilities and from your judgment."

"Cassander, you know such claims only come from your own longing for what I have found!"

"What," Cassander replied. He was taken aback by the comment. For the first time Alexander was in a position to challenge him. It was a rare occasion when Alexander would fight in such a manner with Cassander.

"Escander," was the only name that passed over Alexander's lips. Instantly a look of pained grief fell over Cassander's features. The name brought up memories he did not want to recall, or even remember in the slightest.

"You leave him out of it," Cassander ordered. Now he looked both plagued and angered. His eyes were clouded over with rage, but clouded not the less with pain. At his sides his hands balled into fists and his breathing was now rapid and rigid. Alexander now had an upper hand. He too was still angry, but he now was willing to fight Cassander using his own methods against him.

"What was he Cassander," Alexander asked. "Was he your friend, your lover, or was he perhaps both?"

"Shut up," Cassander ordered again. "Escander has nothing to do with this!"

"Neither does Hephaestion! You hate me, not him. You hate me because I could not save him!"

"Yes," Cassander shouted back. It felt good to get out his next words. He no longer cared if any other heard. "You let Escander die! You should have saved him, but you saved Hephaestion!"

"That is not fair," insisted the prince. "It was a terrible accident."

"It was your idea to cross that river and I told you that log was never going to hold us all. But you, you decided to do it, and you told us that it would work. So like fools they all blindly followed you in order not to get you angry with them! I remember Ptolemy laughing and telling me this was why I was not on your good side. What happened Alexander! What happened!"

"The log fell," Alexander yelled back finally. "What do you want to hear? Do you want to hear that you were right? Well fine, you were, the log was not going to hold us all. It fell, and we all went into the river, and Escander did not make it back out."

"Because you didn't grab him!"

"Yes, it is my fault then. Do you think that I forget that it was my fault? Let me assure you Cassander, I remember what happened that day. I remember every day that I wake. But you must know that it was not Hephaestion's fault. Yes, I pulled Hephaestion from the water, but it was not his fault. In truth, none of us could have saved Escander!"

"You could have."

Cassander said nothing more. Instead he abruptly turned away and left, not wanting to say any more. He also did not want Alexander to see the tears in his eyes. There was nothing worse than this. Yes, he had loved Escander, but had never mentioned it. There was an understanding between them, true, but he had never let the words slip. Now, even if he were to say them, Escander would never hear them. What was love if it was not known? It was nothing. It could be nothing. A mound of dirt would never be able to understand what Escander could have.

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"You know it was not your fault," he said soothingly. Alexander felt better with Hephaestion rubbing his shoulders but still felt terrible. Yes, it had been his fault in a way. He never should have tried to cross the log, and he never should have let the others follow him. In a way it was his fault.

"It was such a beautiful day," Alexander whispered quietly, reminiscing.

"I know," Hephaestion said as he ran a hand through Alexander's hair. "None of us could have known. You did not know either. There is nothing we could have done, even if we would have been able to grab Escander. You saw him fall. He hit his head, Alexander, he hit it too hard. Even had you brought him out of the water he would have never awaken.

"Cassander does not understand that."

"No," Hephaestion agreed. "He is mortal, just as you are. When we lose a loved one we need to blame it on someone else. He does not want to accept that nothing could have been done to save Escander. All will be well soon. He just needs time."

"He has had months."

"I know," Hephaestion said as he nodded. "But I know that if anything happened to you I would never recover."

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A/N: Another shorty, I know. I'll try to get another chapter up soon! There is just so much going on in my life right now. I hope no one is angry at my neglecting of this story.


	5. Finality

Title: "The Meaning of Words"

Author: Baliansword

Rating: T for Teen

Pairings: Alexander/Hephaestion

Type: …slowly becoming chapters….

Chapter: 5 of 5..."Finality"

Summary: Hephaestion begins to act strangely around Alexander. It's not what they say, but rather something Hephaestion has left unsaid.

Warnings: Sexual Content. Yes, I know, just be shocked and either read or don't read. By now…you should have stopped reading if you didn't want the sex.

A/N: thank you to all of those that read and review. Again, I am sorry for these delays in posting!

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Hephaestion glanced up as the sun hit his face. Alexander had pulled the drapes to his room open. They had clearly managed to sleep through part of the day. Yawning, Hephaestion pushed himself up and rubbed his eyes. There was something that he needed to do, and so it was good to be up. Yet at the same time he did not want to have to leave Alexander.

"What are you doing," Alexander asked as Hephaestion got up and began to dress. He lay back down on the bed and watched Hephaestion dress, his eyes addressing each and every part of him. "I just wanted to be able to see you this time."

"I have something that I need to do," Hephaestion told him. "I promise to be back in a little while. Alexander, don't look at me like that. I swear that I will be right back."

"Really?"

"Have a little bit of faith in me," Hephaestion whispered as he leaned down, placing his lips against Alexander's lightly. Alexander wrapped his arms around him and gave him a warm embrace before letting him go. Hephaestion pressed his lips to his forehead once more before turning to walk away.

"You had better come back," Alexander said with a smirk.

"I vow," Hephaestion replied with a laugh. He then left the room. As soon as the door shut behind him he was missing Alexander. Yet he knew that there was only one way to solve things with Cassander. He needed to find the root of the problem himself. It would do him no good to ignore him, or to let Alexander handle incidents for him.

It did not take long before he was standing before Cassander's door. He knew it would be unwise to push his way in. There was no telling what Cassander could be doing, and many knew that entering his room unannounced was foolish. The simplest things angered him. Hephaestion, for the first time, did not care though. He'd found a courage within himself that he needed in the hallway. Slowly he pushed the door open and then stepped inside.

"Get out," Cassander said before he even saw who had entered. When he glanced over his shoulder he repeated his words louder, and with more anger. It looked as if he had not slept all night, and it showed underneath his eyes. Hephaestion ignored his request though and stepped further into the room. He paused, glancing around at the shards of metal and glass that hung from the ceiling.

"Are you trying to keep daemons away," Hephaestion asked. Absent-mindedly reached up and touched a shard of glass that hung from a black cord. The piece swayed suddenly, and as it hit the sun a bright beam of light shot across the room. Cassander suddenly pushed his chair back and grabbed the spinning decoration and glared at Hephaestion.

"What do you want," he hissed.

"To talk."

"What could you possibly have to say to me?"

"I want you to know that what happened to Escander…"

"You have no right to say his name!"

"I do," he answered after a moment. "It was horrible, yes, but it was no one's fault. The gods took him from you. It was not I, and it was not Alexander. What happened that day can never be changed. You know that. Please, do not curse me for what befell to you."

"The gods curse me, yet they bless you," Cassander screamed. "You think that you're so lucky, that you are perfect because Alexander loves you…well you are nothing Hephaestion! You are a fool. You're weak, just like the rest of the damnable Athenians that raised you!"

"Neither of us are better than the other," Hephaestion admitted. "Yes, the gods took Escander from you. It was cruel of them to do. Yes, they have blessed me, but please stop holding it against me."

"He was mine you know, Alexander. He was mine before you came back. I was his best friend. He told me secrets. Did he tell you that?"

"I know," Hephaestion lied. Alexander had never really brought up the subject. Hephaestion knew though. He had listened to Aristotle long enough to know the ways of men. Cassander envied him for many reasons. First, he'd has Escander ripped from his grasp and could not accept that Alexander and he were happy. On the other hand he was hurt that he, after being gone for so long, had come back and now was Alexander's closest Companion.

"Well he loves you now!"

"Yes," Hephaestion said with a nod. "But he will always treasure you."

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Alexander felt Hephaestion wrap his arm around him. He smiled as he stirred from his sleep. It was about time that Hephaestion return. Where he had gone, and why it had taken so long to return, was still a mystery to him. Alexander turned his head and looked over his shoulder at Hephaestion, who was conveniently kissing the back of his neck. It drove him wild, and Alexander was beginning to think that Hephaestion already knew this.

"I love you," Hephaestion then said, the words materializing for no reason at all. Alexander rolled over so that he faced Hephaestion and he ran a hand over his cheek. Yes, he loved him as well. It was perfect, being able to hold him, and hearing him say it. They knew. Alexander continued to smile, like a fool, but he did not care. Instantly he leaned forward and kissed Hephaestion softly.

"I love you too."

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A.N: The end! Hope you all enjoyed!


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